kinda like clock faces

Everlasting Friend - Blue October

-Mistakes become our medicine. Delay the mournful words of complicated overcast. I might crumble, I might take a fall again (still missing you). A heartbeat skip, relationship; a teardrop drip below my lip, beside the airport gate. A real-life script of how our hands would hold and not let go. But we wave respect goodbye. I just want to know that you’ll be coming home.

I try to not do this sort of thing, but damn it, it’s my blog. I broke up with my boyfriend last night. Although it was my decision, and a necessary one, it still fucking hurts. We were in love for at least six months, and we still love each other, and I think that makes it harder. It’ll be better in the long run; we are far too different from each other to make it last, and at least we’re both young and don’t have kids, but it still feels like someone has reached inside of me and ripped out a part of me somewhere deep. (and, of course that someone is me, so I have no good excuse for feeling this way.)

So, I’ve been listening to the album Foiled by Blue October, and this song really sums up what’s left of my relationship. I can’t think of any band that this one is like. This is an original from my point of view. I discovered them by accident, and I’m glad I did. I couldn’t stand emo/indie breakup songs right now, and Blue October’s prevailing sense of optimism is what I need to hear. I’m going to listen to them and remember that I will come out of this breakup stronger, and although my new-found freedom is raw and bitter now, time will season it and give it a flavor I can swallow.

Into the Ocean

-I’m just a normal boy, who sank when I fell overboard.

X Amount of Words

-Still you try to control it; I only want to breath. Give me recipes for happy with the chemicals gone, drinking freedom from a bottle to the tune of belong. Your memory that punches me has broken a bone.

Drilled a Wire Through My Cheek

I’ve always heard this song as a testament to the difficulty of dealing with someone who is having an emotional breakdown. When listening to this song I imagine it is sung to the part of me that curls into a ball and weeps. It makes me empathize with the person who would have to deal with me, and it makes me feel stronger.

18th Floor Balcony

This is the tender spring after a harsh winter. This is pure new love that will wilt in the heat of summer, but will always come again. (exempting a nuclear winter, which, following the analogy, would be suicide.) I do know that I’ll feel this way again, and that keeps me going.

As a note about the band, part of what appeals to me is their use of non-specific lyrics. Their songs are ambiguous, so I can put my own meaning over them, anyone can, and interpret each song based on what the listener needs to hear at that moment. For me, that is the mark of a true artist.